


Merry Kissmas

by FluffySax



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - College/University, Christmas, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Mistletoe, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Revenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-09-06 12:12:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16832398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FluffySax/pseuds/FluffySax
Summary: Tony looked at them expectantly, an ‘I’m not kidding’ look on his face as his gaze remained on the two Brooklyn men. “What are you waiting for?” he demanded teasingly, but Steve detected a seriousness in his tone that was there from the want of revenge for what had been done to him. “Kiss.”Or: Steve's forced to kiss his best friend and years-long crush and he freaks out (but maybe, just maybe, this crush wants to kiss him too...)





	Merry Kissmas

**Author's Note:**

> My first Christmas themed fic! Yay!
> 
> I woke up with a very limited idea but got inspired to write it when I took out all the Christmas decorations with my mom this weekend while listening to very loud music (a combination of ABBA and Christmas songs), so I had a go at it in bed on my phone.
> 
> I'm planning on writing more Christmas fics, because I live for them, honestly.
> 
> I hope you like it!

Tony looked at them expectantly, an ‘I’m not kidding’ look on his face as his gaze remained on the two Brooklyn men. “What are you waiting for?” he demanded teasingly, but Steve detected a seriousness in his tone that was there from the want of revenge for what had been done to him. “Kiss.”

And well, _shit_. Bucky met Steve’s eyes, shrugged and smirked a shy, but nonchalant smile, like this didn’t make him at least the slightest bit uncomfortable or nervous, which freaked Steve out even more.

He should have seen this coming. And maybe he had, but he’d been channelling the thought of this actually happening straight to another universe, because this was seriously messed up in too many ways.

Bucky inched closer and looked at Steve again with a brave demeanour that Steve usually loved about him, but hated at the moment, because how could Bucky be so unaffected by this? Well, that was a stupid question to which even Steve knew the answer: this didn’t mean anything to Bucky. Which only made this a hundred times more unbearable. And worst of all, this time it wasn’t even Steve who’d put himself in this situation as a consequence of his own dumb actions. No, this time it was one hundred percent on Bucky, but Steve was the one who was taking the shit for it. (A small voice in Steve’s head told him that this was only fair, as Bucky was usually the one to take the shit whenever Steve got himself in trouble. He was a loyal friend like that.)

They were in a small café in downtown Manhattan where they all met up on a weekly basis to make sure all of them got at least a little social interaction time built into their busy schedules as bachelor students in university. Thor, Steve, Bucky, Natasha, Clint and Tony were all there today, and it were the last two who were causing Steve to break a sweat while motionless, in the middle of the crowded place.

Clint and Tony had come in last, the both of them casually late as they walked towards the booth laughing and talking. Steve hadn’t even seen them coming until Bucky had abruptly stood up and had all but yelled at them to stop while pointing towards the ceiling with an almost evil grin. Right above where they stood hung a mistletoe, randomly positioned in the middle of the aisle. Steve hadn’t even noticed it earlier as it was somewhat lost in the midst of every kind of Christmas decoration hung around the place.

The two men had complained, of course they had. Clint had grumbled, “Dude, come on!” to which Bucky had casually replied, “You can’t defy the power and will of Christmas.” Tony had spoken with slight annoyance. “Bet this is a dream come true for you, seeing two men kiss right in front of you. You know, there's porn for that, Barnes.”

Again, Bucky had not been impressed, he just laughed while responding, “Don’t you worry, Tony. I got that part covered. Now don’t be such cowards and give each other a good smack on the lips!”

Steve had stopped processing what was said somewhere along the lines of Bucky watching two men kiss. It wasn’t like the words did anything to him when they were placed out of context, but Bucky being gay was something – something life changing to Steve – that he’d only known for three months now, while he’d been secretly hoping for that miracle to happen ever since he’d first laid eyes on the man. And that hope had only grown stronger as their relationship became solid as rock throughout the years. And the particular aspect of Bucky watching porn, Steve didn’t dare imagine what that would look like too much, or at least not in front of his friends, or in front of Bucky himself. It shouldn’t have, but it made him even hotter than he already was anyway.

And hot it was, because everyone – their friends, and what seemed like the entire crowd of the café – were looking at the two of them under the same fucking mistletoe Clint and Tony had shared a tiny, unaffectionate (much to Bucky’s disapproval) peck on the lips mere minutes ago. And of course everyone was watching them. After all, they’d all been amused by the two friends being forced to kiss and were no less intrigued when the one who had insisted on the first kiss was getting back at right now.

Of course it was logical that Clint and Tony would get back at Bucky. The thought had consumed Steve’s mind the second Bucky had told his two friends to make out with that knowing grin on his face. Steve had considered the possibilities and had come up with two options: Natasha and himself. Thor had immediately left the list of plausible makeout partners, because the guy seriously had no sense of shame when it came to showing PDA (to the group’s disgust) so that would take away the fun for Tony and Clint, as it wouldn’t be weird enough for Bucky to kiss Thor.

Which left only him and Natasha. And Steve’s stomach hadn’t turned completely upside down at the thought of Bucky making out with Natasha. No of course not, why would it?

Since Natasha had a history with Bucky that was rather vague and unknown to the group (even Steve didn’t know all the details), she would have been an interesting choice. But she’d been crossed off the list the second Tony had looked at her, as she had returned a death glare that made everyone reconsider their existence and made Tony stutter out an apology without even having mentioned his initial idea.

(Un)fortunately, Natasha wasn’t an option anymore, and both Tony and Clint averted their eyes to Steve. He’d let out a relieved breath, because no one was going to kiss his best friend and years-long crush. But he took in a new one immediately after, because _he had to kiss his best friend and years-long crush_. And of fucking course it had to be like this, in front of what seemed like the entire world. And when said best friend and crush didn’t even feel the same, couldn’t possibly feel the same, because Steve was in as deep as could be. So deep, it scared himself every time he saw Bucky and his heart jumped so heart it could very well jump right out of his chest.

And it had been like that for years and he’d never said a word about it to Bucky. Hell, he hadn’t even told him he liked boys as much as he liked girls, which was highly unfair considering that Bucky had opened up to him months ago after his sexuality had dawned on him weeks before that. It wasn’t at all like he didn’t trust Bucky with that secret part of him; he didn’t trust anyone more than Bucky. The problem was, if he came out it might raise some questions from Bucky’s side that would make it even more difficult to hide this ridiculous crush from him, and Steve couldn’t tell him; except for the impossibly slight chance that Bucky felt the same, it would end in disaster. And their friendship was worth way too much to Steve to put at stake.

But Bucky couldn’t possibly feel the same way. He just…couldn’t.

It wasn’t liked he’d ever held back on telling Steve how beautiful he thought Steve was, but the latter knew that was solely because of Bucky’s task as best friend to encourage Steve with compliments. When Steve knew better and was very much aware of the looks he lacked; the looks Bucky had in all glory. Bucky really was beautiful, his strong but lean figure so masculine, but his personality as soft as velvet. Maybe Steve served as a good enough friend, but he was nowhere good enough as boyfriend material for Bucky.

And yet, here they were, standing only inches apart – Bucky must have stepped closer without Steve noticing, being too occupied in his stressed out train of self pity – and Bucky was looking intensely at Steve (a look that did nothing to slow down the thumping of Steve’s weak heart) and he couldn’t help but look right back. Those grey blue eyes were way too enthralling and Bucky’s cheek bones much too sharp not to stare, his lips too red and lush to look away.

Steve felt his knees buckle, his light body starting to tremble from the new sensations, shivers running down his spine from being able to smell Bucky’s scent. The scent Steve was so familiar with from all the platonic cuddles they’d shared on the couch in their apartment; it was a combination of the heavy cologne and Bucky’s natural, sweet scent.

No longer aware of the situation he was in and his surroundings, Steve stepped in closer, bringing his small hand to Bucky’s tight waist, his digits shaping around the curve. He looked up at Bucky’s face, who met his eyes immediately, an undecipherable expression on his face. But Steve was way too far gone to back out or ask questions; all he knew was Bucky.

That was until Clint called out for them. “We’re waiting here, guys.”

Steve tore himself away from Bucky, certain that the expression of embarrassment, horror and shock on his face wasn’t pretty, but he didn’t care, because _this had been way too close_.

Without wasting another second, he turned around and ran nowhere in particular; away from his friends, away from Bucky.

Goddammit! He’d almost just _kissed_ Bucky. All those years of pushing down the urge to just tell him, to blurt it all out would have been for nothing. All those times he'd fought back the thought of just grabbing Bucky by the collar of his black leather jacket and kiss him senseless would have been of no use if Clint had given them just one second more.

God, this was unbelievable. All it taken was for Bucky to look him straight in the eye with the insinuation of _fake_ kissing him, and Steve’s self-control had completely disappeared. He was so weak, so weak for Bucky.

Imagine if Clint hadn’t said anything, then Steve’s first kiss – not just with Bucky, but with anyone – would have been his biggest regret ever; a funny story his friends would bugger him with forever. That wasn’t exactly how he’d planned his first kiss to be, and not at all how he’d imagined his first kiss with Bucky to be. And he’d imagined it plenty. In all its glorious detail, because he was in love with his best friend like that.

Steve rushed around the corner, already out of breath, and apparently heading for the bathroom when a firm hand grabbed his thin arm and gracefully yanked at him. He was swung around and somehow ended up with his back pressed flush against the wall with Bucky hovering over him, looking very concerned.

Steve would have screamed, he would have kicked around to get away, but he lost all ability to speak or move when he felt Bucky’s breath tingle on his skin, could smell him all over again, and could see every inch of his beautiful face with how close they were standing.

Bucky’s arms rested on the wall on either side of Steve’s head as he spoke softly. “Steve,” his voice not much more than a whisper, “Stevie, are you okay?”

Steve had been working on speaking, on saying anything to talk himself out of this horrible situation, but all reasonable thoughts ran away when Bucky used the nickname only he ever said. It pulled him right back to a pathetic silence and made his breathing quicken. Bucky had an unhealthy power over him. Steve hated it, and loved it at the same time.

“Steve?” Bucky asked again, even more hesitantly now as he slowly pulled himself off the wall, away from Steve to give him more space.

“I’m sorry,” Bucky began. “I’m really sorry I put you in this situation. I never meant to hurt you or make you uncomfortable and I completely screwed this up and of course you didn’t want to kiss me,” he rambled on. “I get that, because I’m gay and that would totally be weird to you and you’d be grossed out and that would make things weird between us. I get that, I really do, and I’m really sorry. I promise I won’t ever ask anything like that again from you and I get that you want some space and-”

“No.” _No_. Bucky couldn’t be more wrong. Yes, he’d put Steve in this situation, but only indirectly. He hadn’t forced Steve to do anything. He hadn’t made Steve uncomfortable, he never did. He hadn’t grossed Steve out. He’d made Steve freak out, yes, but that was all on Steve, because he couldn’t control his fucking crush.

“No?” Bucky asked, confused.

“I don’t need space.” And fuck it, fuck it all. This situation was already so many forms of messed up, might as well make it a tiny bit worse and get everything off his chest to clear up the situation once and for all, and most importantly, to make sure Bucky didn’t feel so bad. Because Steve’s heart couldn’t physically handle Bucky feeling bad about himself, Steve cared way too much about him for that to happen.

“I’m not grossed out with you, Buck. How could you possibly think that?”

Bucky shrugged bashfully. “With me being gay and all,” he said with a vague hand gesture in the air.

“So am I,” Steve said matter-of-factly and in no imagined scenario had his coming out been anywhere close to how it was now, but that didn’t matter. He’d said it and Bucky looked up at him again, surprise on his face, but no judgement. “Well, not gay, bi,” Steve said.

Bucky smiled softly, but looked confused only a second later. “Then why did you leave so suddenly when it wouldn’t have meant anything to you for me to kiss you?”

Steve swallowed. This was the moment. He cleared his throat and spit out the words before he could reconsider them. “I never said it wouldn’t mean anything to me.”

“You just said you wouldn’t be grossed out,” Bucky said, still in confusion.

“That’s not the same, Buck,” Steve sighed.

“I’m not following you.”

“I wouldn’t be grossed out with you, because I’ve only been dreaming of kissing you for years. And it would mean the world to me for you to kiss me back. But you’d be the one ending up grossed out for me meaning every single one of my touches, or every uncontrolled sound that would slip past my lips, because I wouldn’t be able to hold them back,” Steve said, tears forming in his eyes. There hadn’t a day passed by since the day he’d realised his feelings that he hadn’t thought of Bucky never loving him back, but saying it out loud was still painful.

“You…want to kiss me?” Bucky said softly.

Steve nodded, averting his eyes to the ground, but before he could start rambling an apology, Bucky’s hand wrapped around his small face and his lips were on Steve’s. And _oh God_ , this was so much better, so much more intense and pleasurable than in Steve’s imagination.

He let out an involuntary moan and kissed Bucky back, tasting him, nibbling at his lips, moving his around, exploring. A small grunt escaped his mouth when he felt the teasing tip of Bucky’s tongue trace his swollen lip before it travelled to the seam and slipped inside Steve’s mouth.

One of Bucky’s hands moved to Steve’s neck and gently guided him even more into Bucky’s space, while the hand still on Steve’s face applied the lightest pressure that made him tilt his head slightly to deepen the kiss.

Steve swallowed the moan that escaped Bucky’s mouth at the touch of Steve’s tongue against his. They circled around each other, trying, tasting new and yet so familiar territory.

They broke apart with a grunt, resting their foreheads together, both completely out of breath.

“I wanted to kiss you too,” Bucky panted softly.

“I figured that much,” Steve laughed, a smile on his face. But his expression changed to slightly concerned in a matter of seconds, because he had to ask, and wouldn’t know the answer. “What now?”

“How about we say we can kiss each other whenever we want to? Since we both seem to want that,” Bucky said. “And then we don’t, uhm…kiss anybody else?”

Steve’s face lit up. “You would want that?”

“I would love that, Steve.”

“Me too,” Steve beamed. “So from now on, I can introduce you as my boyfriend?” He couldn’t even believe this was real, Bucky was _his boyfriend_.

“That’s how this works, yeah,” Bucky laughed, and Steve couldn’t help but launch forward and capture his _boyfriend’s_ lips again for a passionate kiss.

“How are we going to tell the others?” Steve asked as they broke apart.

“Who said anything about _telling_ them?”

Steve looked at Bucky in confusion – did he want to keep them a secret? – but followed him towards the café and started smirking when he realised was Bucky was planning to do. Their friends watched, amused, as Bucky pulled Steve close and into another mind-blowing kiss under the mistletoe in the middle of the café.

Steve laughed into the kiss as the entire café started cheering and whistling at the two of them. He turned around to see Clint’s confused face while Thor looked almost proud and Natasha muttered, “Fucking finally.”

“Glad to have been of your help,” Tony said with a smile, while Bucky took Steve’s hand in his. It felt warm and familiar, even more did the peck Bucky pressed to Steve’s forehead as they made their ways to the booth.

This was going to be a really good Christmas.

**Author's Note:**

> It would be a great early Christmas gift if you'd give a kudo or leave a comment if you liked it! :)


End file.
